Sunday, July 28, 2013

Birth

Jace was born 11/6/2012
He was 8lb 15oz at 5:!5pm
21 1/2 inches long


Jace was unlike anything anyone had ever seen. He was so strong he scared even the doctor when he turned his head to look at me when I spoke. The doctor, nurse and assistant all gasped. The nurse said she had never seen a more perfect child. He didn't fuss. He didn't cry. He opened his eyes and found his mom. He was the most alert child I have ever seen. The nurse recommended burping him sitting up. I told her that is not possible, then I showed her why. Jace was so strong that he would literally pull his head out of my hands when I tried to burp him.

The first three months I spent every moment with him. I held him during the day. I slept near him. I changed him. I fed him. I worried for him.

Then I went back to work, and I feel like everything fell apart. That was when our troubles began... I cannot help but think that I did this to my child. I caused this to happen to my child somehow. Everyone says I cannot think or believe that... but it is in our nature to blame ourselves... we are moms...

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